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The Award-Winning Source for Apocryphal News Sunday, November 28

It May Come to Pass "You aren't desperate enough..." -- 2/11/2020

Mrs. Conners, I should report you for trying to commit fraud on the new Entitlements Audit. To qualify you needed to state your complete net worth, all your assets. But you're holding back. I see you are wearing your wedding band; here's some news--your husband is dead, you don't need the ring anymore. And you could sell your wheelchair and make do with a walker, many old people can get by with a walker. Those two MUST be worth maybe $200. Come back when you've truly exhausted all your resources and THEN we can talk about government assistance to discount your meds.

Reported by the Daily Apocrypha News Staff. All rights reserved. © 2020.

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